One Step Forward Two Steps Back

Nov. 16, 2011 Pre-chemo day

SHIT !  No chemotherapy tomorrow.
Another kick in the stomach. 

Dr. T broke the bad news to us gently but it didn't really help.  Here's what I heard.  "The CT scan showed two small nodules in the lung area that appear symetrical but will require a biopsy to find out if they are breast cancer cells or something that could be treated with steriods while chemotherapy starts.  The biopsy will be sometime next week".

This news really hit us hard.  We were ready to go.  It took every ounce of emotional energy to be strong for Jody.  Again having Aunty Brenda with us was a godsend.

We were so prepared to get started but now we have to lean on something we've shared together since the day we met, things happen for a reason.  I don't know why this is so, it just is.

For all you romantics out there the day Jody and I met ( May 19, 1979 ) we both knew we had met our soulmate.  Now back in those days the saying "soulmate" was rarely used. Now it is used so often that there is a sense that the rare instance of really meeting your soulmate happens every day.  Perhaps we new each other in a previous life.  Perhaps we were inexorably linked by some kharmic energy field.  Either way meeting that day happened for a reason.

In our life together there have been so many examples of strange occurences that we have become card carrying members of the "kharma bank club".  Sometimes, like now, it's hard to believe there is a reason for what we are going through. 

For example on June 22nd this year, we decided it was time to sell our house and simplify our lives.  Downsizing, as most would call it, was part of our plans for a very long time.  We didn't need to sell, it just felt like the right time to take this step.  On July 4th Jody had an ultrasound and a magnified mammogram.  It was the inconclusive results of those tests followed by Jody's sense that something wasn't right which made her insist on a biopsy.  The purchase offer for our home of 17 years went through Aug. 12 while a sterotactic biopsy on Aug. 18 would confirm the breast cancer diagnosis.  Now, as all hell is breaking loose in our personal life, we are in a managable 3 bedroom townhouse a few kilometers away from our previous address.  We are still close to friends and familiar surroundings, all with the extra added measure of the amenities of condo living; no raking, cutting, shovelling, etc..  All of this allows us to face this terrible disease with relatively few distractions.
Things happen for a reason.

Special Technical Note
I took some pictures today at Sunnybrook but don't feel like including them in this post.  Okay, I also don't know how but I am sure it's easy.  We wanted to show: where we were spending our time; talk about the processes that run so smoothly at this hospital; and add cool pictures.  This all seemed like a good idea prior to the kick in the stomach.  I am sure I will feel a little more energized tomorrow or the next day.