Surrounded By Family And Friends

Nov. 5, 2011  Big Night

If you ever get the chance, watch the 1996 movie Big Night featuring Tony Shalhoub and Stanley Tucci.  It is a great “restaurant movie” filled with comedy and pathos; much like our evening at Sonia and Warren’s.  It started out as a “Girl’s Night” that was sangria centric.  About 10 to 12 ladies were expected to visit with Jody and eat the food prepared by me and Warren.  Paella was the main course and I came outfitted with my Superman T-shirt as inspiration for our Big Night.  With the inclusion of some out of town guests, Jody’s sister Lianne ( from South Carolina ), Brenda and Aileen ( Toronto and Sterling, Ontario) this evening was a little more special than usual.

As the night began more and more male family members showed up.  I considered this either a testament to the rich skills of the chef’s or the usual Geller event status that, “it can always get bigger”.  In fact it is this sense of inclusion that I have long marveled at during my life with Jody. 

Around my house when I was growing up it seemed that every big dinner or small family gathering always excluded either kids, cousins or certain extended family. Friends were persona non grata and if someone that lived on our street wandered by; they were probably selling Girl Guide cookies or chocolate bars to support their hockey team.

By contrast a “Geller occasion” often includes Aunt’s, Uncles, cousins, Montcalm street members, long time friends and even family members of other families that feel at home and included.  Jody and her family have taught me about inclusion.  We are all richer when we can exchange ideas, laughter and sadness together.  In fact the more diverse the backgrounds the richer is the experience.  This is the Geller dinner table.  Mostly a legacy from Bubby Jean but certainly carried on by all her children.  Just say the words Skootamatta, Rosemere or

Smart Avenue

and all who have been there know this inclusion and acceptance. 

This tradition continues tonight on

Grey Avenue

.

The paella was a big hit with the “sangria set” while the men folk “chowed down” on steak.

There was one rather poignant moment during the night for Jody.  She was speaking with one of ladies about the early parts of discovering her lump and thus the cancer.  As Jody will, she lovingly instructed this person to be more proactive during her regular mammograms and pursue any irregularities despite what a doctor may advise is “probably just a cyst or fatty tissue”.  As she finished her listener began to cry.  She had not been for a mammogram in a very long time and seemed to have put her health on the back burner while tending to family things and everyday life.

Public Service Announcement ( PSA )

Jody wants everyone reading this to promise “today” to make a doctor’s appointment and get screened and have regular checkups for all of the many preventable conditions that exist today.  Ignorance is not bliss; it is merely an opportunity for problems to get bigger than they should.  Besides both Jody and I want you in our lives for a VERY long time.

End of PSA, thanks for your prompt attention.

November 14, 2011 Chemotherapy School

Today we graduated a course no one should ever have to take for a reason no one should be faced with.  The Odette Cancer Center runs a very good orientation program.  All the questions were answered regarding who, what, when and where but I for one felt a little queasy.  Once again Aunty Brenda was on hand to keep us on a level keel.

So the world of chemotherapy now waits on our door step; full of new vocabulary and scary references.  Starting with alopecia and ending with diarrhea this is not my idea of a gentle walk in the park.  How do people do this alone?

Tomorrow we set out to buy a new thermometer, a good one.  Infection is a common side effect and 38 degrees is the balance point, at 38.5 get to the emergency room without delay.  Mucositis sounds delightful; we picked up some baking soda tonight to ward off its symptoms (you don’t want to know).  Then there is the wonderful juxtaposition of constipation and diarrhea.  Both were covered in detail so I guess the result is a bit of a crap shoot (punning is intended for an older audience so I apologize to generations X and Y in that order).

Now this whole cancer shit gets very real.  Blood tests and a visit with Dr. T are this Wednesday and Thursday chemotherapy begins.  The clinic uses the short form “CX” on the appointment card to denote chemotherapy. I don’t like the use of the X in that abbreviation but can’t really suggest a better alternative.

The next treatment is scheduled for Dec. 8 if all goes as planned.

They suggest that you set aside the entire day for the first chemotherapy, maybe you'll get out early but just in case set your expectations low.  What a lovely beginning.

As of today chemotherapy is just a word.  We can still dream that this will be the easiest course of chemo in the history of mankinds effort to poison cancer cells.  No side effects, no vomiting just effective destruction of cancer cells all according to schedule and with perfect results. 

This must be the freefall part of falling down the rabbit hole.  The breeze blowing by us.  A feeling of weightlessness and bliss surrounds us for now.  Jody is the healthiest she has been since the surgery.  The need for pain pills has completely dimished and she was able to get back to yoga for the first time today. Our family and friends have been slowing our progress as we cascade along our way.  This is such a comfort to both of us.  You have no idea what your support means to us.

When I look down the rabbit hole I don't see any bottom in sight.  Maybe it's time for some glasses ?